Wheel of Time Everyday
by Zelin Danica Nynaeve Ni'karin
Summary: See the title. Please read and review. Ummmm... ok, I need ideas before I write the next chapter, I need some
1. Default Chapter

Phrases from Wheel of Time; how to use them every day  
  
Author's note: My friend, Angel of Ice, helped me come up with some of these. If you have any suggestions for updates of this page, please review and tell me. I will put your user name right here . Beautiful blank space isn't it.  
  
P.S. If I owned the Wheel of Time why would I be writing FAN fics?  
  
Phrases:  
  
It's time to toss the dice: when you have a really hard test; you did not study. WELL you MIGHT be tra'vern…  
  
Sa souraya manain niende ye: when you feel like stating the obvious and at the same time confusing everyone. (It means 'I am lost in my own mind'- Old Tougue)  
  
Forsaken/Darkfriend: for one of those teachers (my P.E. teacher is Bala'zamon; my principal is Shai'tan; my school disciplinary is Semerhage for her obvious love of torturing kids)  
  
Kinslayer: the cafeteria ladies (if your cafeteria food is anything like mine)  
  
May the Light burn you: a new innovative curse that you will not get in trouble for using  
  
Blood and bloody ashes: when you feel like being like Uno or Mat  
  
Flaming bloody ashes: same as above  
  
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ILLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYNAAAAAAAAAAAAAA: when you feel like taking up space in a fanfic  
  
Woolhead: call to any person around you that is male  
  
Rand: a potent curse; use reservingly lest it lose potency  
  
Mat: for any bloody light burned fool who has ten times his luck and more  
  
Aiel: anyone who would put a spear through any one who stepped in a puddle of water  
  
Myrdraal/ Trollics (sp?): assistant teachers  
  
Brown Ajah: librarians that probe into things that are none of their business  
  
Rhetorical Questions:  
  
What did they call the call the Old Tongue when it was new?  
  
Why do cats love Aes Sedai, and hate Asha'man when they are both so clearly repulsive?  
  
When is Robert flaming Jordan going to flaming publish his next bloody book?  
  
Why is Mat, our favorite character, developing horrible traits, such as RESPONSIBILITY?  
  
What is with Lews Therin in Rand's head?  
  
Why hasn't Rand gone insane and destroyed the entire earth, as it would be interesting, and would rid us of Rand?  
  
Why hasn't RJ realized what a mob of angry fans can do?  
  
Where is the White Tower in OUR WORLD? (I've searched on every map and Tar'valon is plainly NOT THERE. Apparently RJ did not realize that he had gotten the wrong place for the White Tower)  
  
Why is Morgase not come back to straighten Elayne out, as she clearly needs it?  
  
  
  
Well that's it. PEASE review. Excuse the spelling. Or Else.  
  
P.S. My friend is infatuated with Mat. How do I get her mental help? 


	2. At Home

Chapter Two:  
  
As always, I don't own WoT.  
  
Wheel of Time At Home  
  
-For your birthday ask for a Two River's bow  
  
Promptly shoot your annoying brother that is Shadowspawn in the leg  
  
Get grounded for the rest of your life  
  
Accuse your mother/father of being a Darkfriend, and harboring a Shadowspawn  
  
Get sent to a psychiatrist  
  
Call the psychiatrist a Forsaken  
  
Have a new home in the nut farm  
  
- Hack into the your older brother's e-mail account, and e-mail them all e- mails that say:  
  
- There's a Darkfriend meeting at my house at 7:00  
  
Have your older bother hang you on his door. Kinda like with Fain and the Myddraal  
  
Then when you're almost dead he puts you on the cookstove in a pot, kinda like a Trolloc's  
  
Hmmm…. Maybe there's some truth in that message…  
  
-Name your cat Faile  
  
Or if you have a dog, name it Two Moons (one of the wolve's name)  
  
-Write a fic about the WoT  
  
(here's a hint to new authors. Most fics are based in fact)  
  
-Dovienya- what I need a lot of  
  
Dovienya means luck  
  
Sa souraya manain niende ye  
  
It means 'I am lost in my own mind'  
  
-You review this fic… every 10 reviews I post a new chapter, so if u like it REVIEW!!! Please….  
  
OR ELSE. Do not flame it. If you have a nasty opinion, keep it to yourself, because if I get 5 flamed reviews, I take the story off, and contrary to what you might think some people LIKE pointless stories. 


	3. Music and More

Wheel of Time Everyday  
  
  
  
I do not own WoT  
  
Credence to anyone's ideas I used  
  
I will now start the story  
  
After a few more lines  
  
Cause I feel like rambling  
  
I wonder if I could make this rhyme  
  
Ah well  
  
All the time, none to spare  
  
Finally: the fic  
  
-You request to play some songs out of the WoT books in band class  
  
-You order the new music based on WoT, and spend all your spare time picking out songs on the flute or piano (the two instruments I play)  
  
-When your not reading the WoT  
  
-You invent tunes for all of the poems in the WoT  
  
-You recite the poem Padan Fain wrote on the wall of the jail of Tar Valon forwards, backwards, and inside out when asked to speak to the class about the Gettsburg address  
  
Your parents get a phone call home  
  
You go to the court to plead that you should not have failed the project on grounds of insanity  
  
You win your case, but have everything WoT removed from your possession (your CDs, music, flute (which you have heron-branded), books, posters, binder, computer screen saver, fics, notes, floppy disks, carpet, wall)  
  
When they are done, your room, and most of your house does not exist  
  
-You get a lighter and burn a dragon into each arm  
  
-You do the same with a heron  
  
-You wake up in the hospital  
  
-Whenever a teacher asks you a question you reply: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo ILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAA  
  
May the light burn me forever!!!  
  
When some one asks you for good luck, you reply: the wheel weaves as the wheel wills  
  
-That is also your favorite tongue twister  
  
-Your standard greeting is: may the light bless you and shelter you  
  
Your standard goodbye is: may you always find water and shade  
  
-You do not answer to your 'unenlightened' (aka not WoT) name  
  
-All your friends and teachers know you by your enlightened name  
  
-You ask the cafteria ladies if the food they serve is from the blight  
  
-You ask at your local grocery store if they have any 'Two Rivers tabbac'  
  
You also ask if they have any dragon or heron brands  
  
Nay  
  
-You camp out at the local book store waiting for the next WoT book  
  
-You periodically try the 'flower and light' idea to see if you can channel  
  
Even though you are female, you also try the void  
  
-You ask for the school musical to put on a play on the WoT  
  
-When dissecting in science you name your worm Rand (slitting him up the middle *sigh* )  
  
-You name your squid Elayne (Cutting up all her body parts and poking out her eyes until they bleed * goes into dreamworld *)  
  
-When someone asks you for your calculator, you make them say 'My name is Elayne Traakand. I love Rand with all my heart.' Ten times.  
  
People ask who Elayne is, and you give them the Aes Sedai smile  
  
They look at you oddly  
  
-You blame everything on Elayne 


	4. Big eyed small brained girls and woolhea...

WoT Everyday  
  
Wow- that was a lot of reviews. Review more. Review or ELSE. Review; I think u get the point. Just in case you didn't REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW. Kay, and now the, wait a sec REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW, fic.  
  
-Weird baka person: do you own the WoT?  
  
- Me: of course. My name is Robert Jordan and I live on a multi-million dollar estate. Even though I appear as a 60-year-old man, I'm really in truth a 13-year-old girl  
  
Weird baka person: really  
  
Me: yah, and I'm sitting here writing FAN fics  
  
Weird baka person: uh… huh?  
  
Me: I'M BEING SARCASTIC YOU BAKA!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Weird baka person: Isn't that part of my name?  
  
Me: yes. Baka means idiot  
  
Weird baka person: oh, so u don't own WoT?  
  
Me: Grrrrrrrrr…  
  
Now de fic: More WoT  
  
You desperately try to find the character's birthdays so you can send them birthday presents to the characters  
  
-You cease to bombard Robert Jordan with e-mails about the 10th book and start to bombard him about their birthdays  
  
-Even though you don't know their birthdays you always send them gifts on Bel Tine, and on every other holiday in the WoT books  
  
-This includes lets-all-talk-to-wolves-day  
  
-Also this includes lets-vomit-after-we-grab-saidin  
  
-Also this includes pull-our-braid-day  
  
-Shortly it's gotten to the point where the postal service just sends your packages containing Two-Rivers-Andor or Ebou Dar written on the front to some random address  
  
-You complain that the postal service is losing the packages and has faultly time-traveling services  
  
-You attempt to sue  
  
-Your case never gets beyond your computer screen  
  
-You name your friends' boyfriends after the name of the character the character they are likes  
  
-Perhaps obsessed out is a better word  
  
Your big joke among u and your friends is naming one teacher (male teacher) Rand and one of those irrsome big-eyed-small-brained girls Elayne, the school bully Aviendha, and a once tolerably nice girls that has become a big-eyed-small-brained-girl due to the influence of some totally clueless woolhead  
  
  
  
During an annoying PE period, you walk up and tell your teacher that you follow the Way of the Leaf and cannot play  
  
-Ba'lazamon (de PE teacher) asks if you have an excuse note  
  
-You hand Ba'lazamon a note written by your friend (that was haistly written, so u didn't get a chance to see it before):  
  
-Dear Ba'lazamon,  
  
I am sorry to inform you that Nyneave will not be able to attend to the Bore today because of her consitution. The heat of the Pit of Doom will make her pull her braid too much, thereby dangering annoying all WoT readers. If you persist making her becoming a Darkfriend (a person that is obsessed with school or 'physical fitness') , I will have to send a gholam after you. If you still persist I will regrettably be forced to send Rand.  
  
  
  
Aludra  
  
  
  
-The PE teacher looks at u queerly then sends you to the Guidence Conselor  
  
-The GC asks you what is wrong  
  
- You reply, "THIRTEEN AES SEDAI RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!"  
  
- Then u attempt to kill him/her on the charge that he/she can channel  
  
- THERAPIST TIME!!!  
  
- Your answering machine says: Hello. This is the White Tower Residence I am not sorry I cannot attend to the bloody phone, cause you probably called at an inconvenient time, and are wasting mine. So, shut up and call some other time. If you are Faile, terrorize some more sheep. If you are Rand: content your pathetic existence. If you are Aludra, Mat still loves you and it is all ok. If you are Egwene (Katie) thanks for reading. If you are anyone else review or ELSE!!!!!! 


	5. Nothing new

Yes, tis me again. Bahahahahahahaha. Anyways, read and review and review. Hehe. Sorry about getting this one out late.  
  
BTW: if u didn't get that I didn't own the WoT by this chapter u are as dumb as a draghkar in a trolloc's cookpot(sp?).  
  
U shove a piece of paper in front of someone u hate, and ask them to say the word that is on it  
  
- Paper has {insert the real name of the Shepherd of the Night here} on it  
  
U got another one of your enemies to write it down  
  
Hehe  
  
Next day they both die of falling off their window  
  
REVENGE IS MINE!!!!  
  
  
  
When an annoying teacher asks u to stop reading WoT in class u mutter, "the wheel weaves as the wheel wills, and when will it will that all my teachers spontaneously combust?"  
  
People ask what u are muttering  
  
"PINK BUNNIES ROCK!!!"  
  
Uhh…  
  
During class time that is not spent reading, u fondly draw pictures of Rand and Elayne  
  
Being sliced up by a machete  
  
Being killed by Fain  
  
Impaling himself/ herself on his heron sword  
  
Killing each other  
  
I think u get the point  
  
Part Two- excerpts from the first books with my comments  
  
"The Mayor wants me," Mat said, "the Mayor wants me?!!! But I haven't done anything!!!"  
  
Besides covering someone's dogs in flour and letting them loose. Besides going over to the Mountains of Mist. Besides…  
  
What is with all the authors using the same phrases?  
  
Tolkien had the Misty Mountains, and RJ has the Mountains of Mist. Tolkien has the Waste, RJ has the Aiel Waste and the Blight.  
  
(Egwene's thoughts) Even if she did marry, would Rand make a good husband?  
  
WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT???!!!! RAND MAKE A GOOD HUSBAND, well unless u think 'good' means destined to die and go insane and break the world and be hated by everybody and be a woolhead, and he thinks he's being 'hard' ~!!!!! If u think that's 'good' then have at him. Keep in mind u'll have to share.  
  
"I would like to be king." Rand flourished his cape.  
  
Mat, "a king of sheep."  
  
Quite right. That's all he should be."  
  
  
  
Rand, "How can u live without working Mat?"  
  
Exibitation of a class 1 woolhead  
  
I certainly could live without working!!!  
  
Mat, "I don't go looking for work, when there's more than work enough without looking."  
  
Plenty of work. HA!!! Mat has plenty of zippo work.  
  
Mat and Rand never went to the Pit of Doom (school)  
  
  
  
"I want stories with adventures," said Mat  
  
" I want Aes Sedai and Warders, " said Dav.  
  
"I want Trollocs and.. and.. and… a false Dragon." Mat  
  
Dav glared at Mat. There was no way to top a false dragon and he knew it.  
  
Says the boy with the Dragon Reborn sitting right by him.  
  
And two other ta'vern  
  
And seing a Myddraal the day before…  
  
IDIOTS!!! BAKA MANIA!!!  
  
  
  
"He is my father… he IS." Rand.  
  
Take off of Star Wars  
  
Major take off  
  
  
  
"Light, who am I?" Rand  
  
-an Aielman? The Dragon Reborn? Lews Therin?"  
  
- Or what else? 


	6. Asmodean and Math

Chapter 6  
  
Author: if you still think I own WoT by this point.  
  
-Every time you listen to a morbid song, you memorize it and say Asmodean wrote it The following song is by Andrew Lloyd Webber (called Music of the Night), I do not own it either, but I think THIS is Asmodean's theme song (hey, who's to say that ALW isn't Asmodean in disguise?)  
  
-Nighttime sharpens, heightens each sensation  
  
Darkness stirs and wakes imagination  
  
Silently the senses abandon their defences Slowly, gently, night unfurls its splendour  
  
Grasp it, sense it, tremulous and tender  
  
Turn your face away from the garish light of day  
  
Turn your face away from cold, unfeeling light  
  
And listen to the music of the night Close you eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams  
  
Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before  
  
Close your eyes, let your spirit start to soar  
  
And you'll live as you've never lived before Softly, deftly, darkness shall caress you  
  
Hear it, feel it, secretly possess you  
  
Open up your mind, let your fantasies unwind  
  
In this darkness which you know you cannot fight  
  
The darkness of the music of the night Let your mind start a journey through a strange, new world  
  
Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before  
  
Let your soul take you where you long to be  
  
Only then can you belong to me  
  
Let the dream begin, let your darker side give in  
  
To the harmony which dreams alone can write  
  
The power of the music of the night (Does that sound like Asmodean or what?) -You name your band teacher Asmodean or if your band teacher is female, Asmodea -Whenever you read a book with a character that plays an instrument, you automatically assume they a Darkfriends and Asmodean's followers. -You have figured out a tune for 'Wash the Spears' and have asked to play it in band class -In Algebra, instead of figuring out surface area and volume and stuff like that, you come up with some of your own equations and are insulted when the teacher tells you to get back to work (the following r some of mine) Egwene + Elaida= POOOW!!!!  
  
Amrilyn Seat + Whitecloak + love= messed up  
  
Rand- Lord of the Morning- Prince of Dawn- Dragon Reborn- Cara'carn- King of Illian= a sick computer and that's about it  
  
Elayne+ fan= hehehehahahaheheheahahahahahahahhahahhahaha  
  
Mat- gambling- drinking = Rand's intellect  
  
Aes Sedai + Asha'man +Sul'dam= run for your life  
  
Rand channeling + saidin= an insane Rand + tainted saidin  
  
Nynaeve + Windfinders= a very tugged braid  
  
Aes Sedai= Servants of All= people who control the world  
  
And word problems such as.  
  
A bird flies into Rand's face. How sick does it get?  
  
An Ice Hut is , , or = a palace bed  
  
Author: that's all folks *readers see a tweety bird appear on the screen waving goodbye with it's wings and then it disappears from the screen and you hear a 'SQUAK!' Camera angles and you see a cat liking it's chops* PS Actually, Pop Weasel, I DO want a pickle PPS Reader- review= Egwene+Elaida+Suldam+Asha'man 


End file.
